5 Ways To Live Your Life Feeling Fulfilled

You want it so badly. The fit body, a partner in crime, to be InstaFamous and have the most glamorous feed, or to finally have the guts to start that business you've always dreamed of. You spend so much time future tripping - focusing on these things (and then some)... things that you don't have right now. So you get frustrated, you get angry, and you get discouraged.

How many hours a day do you spend future tripping?

How much energy do you consume every day saying mean things to yourself?

Stop searching for external things, soul sister. You will literally exhaust yourself mentally and physically to the point of panic attacks, increased anxiety, and depression. It's scary to search inward, but it's the answer. You gotta spend time with you first.

Before you read this article, look at your reflection, either in a mirror or on your phone. Look at yourself in the eyes, smile, and say out loud, "I love you and I'm here for you. You're a resilient, strong, and incredible woman. I'm ready to meet you and I'm ready to become besties again."

1. Reflect on things that you're grateful for

Gratitude is a word that gets thrown around a lot, and sometimes it's a word that can make us think, "this shit works for other people, it's not for me" or "if I hear the word gratitude one more time I'm gonna lose it". If you've had these thoughts before, you're not alone. Unless you really understand what gratitude can do for you, it's just a word. I challenged myself to start a gratitude journal at the beginning of this year and each day I'd wake up and list up to 3 things that I was grateful for that morning - it could either have been things that I was grateful for the day before (like crossing everything off my to-do list, kicking ass in a meeting, or learning something new) or it could be things that I was grateful for that morning (like the sunshine, sleeping in an extra 10 minutes, or the plans that would be coming up later in the day). The first two or three days, I didn't really feel any different. It was nice to think more empowering and uplifting thoughts, but it didn't really feel like much had changed in my mindset. By day four, I realized that I felt more present and more motivated. I realized on a deeper level that by spending more time throughout the course of my day focusing on things that I was grateful for, I was 'raising the volume' - so to speak - on the endorphins in my brain. It felt like I was tuning into a radio station that made me feel more alert, alive, and fulfilled.

2. Identify which human need you're trying to satisfy

Humans have six basic needs: the need for certainty, uncertainty/variety, love & connection, significance, growth, and contribution. We can either fulfill these needs in empowering ways or disempowering ways and the vehicle that we choose sets the tone for our mindset. For example: if you're primary human need is the need for love & connection and your primary way to fulfill this need is to have a friends-with-benefit type of relationship with multiple partners, but deep down you're terrified of actually being in a relationship, this is more disempowering than empowering. A more empowering way to fulfill your need for love & connection is to join groups to meet people who are likeminded and who love and accept you as you are, form stronger connections with those in your life, and/or spend time learning how to love and connect with yourself. Find out which top 2 human needs you're craving and then ask yourself "How am I trying to fulfill this need? Is this helping me feel more empowered, or is it making me feel disempowered?" Once you've identified your human needs and how you meet them, you can focus more of your time, energy, and attention doing things that make you feel good, which will help you live your life feeling more fulfilled.

3. Understand your self-love language

Similar to the importance of discovering your human needs, it's equally important to discover your self-love language. They are: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, and gift giving. If you don't know what your self-love language is, I invite you to take a self assessment quiz to find out! You can find this quiz on my website under the "More" tab. The more you learn about yourself, what you like, what you don't like, what you desire, and what sets your soul on fire, the more fulfillment you'll feel and experience every day. Without this knowledge and self awareness, you will continue to feel like there's something missing in your life. Once you've identified your self-love language, here are some ways that you can show yourself some love: Words of Affirmation - creating or reciting a mantra such as "I love and accept myself fully" or "I am worthy" or "I am enough", journal and write yourself love notes; Physical Touch - schedule massages or give yourself a massage (there are lots of products out there that help make this possible!), incorporate workouts to your daily routine, establish a skincare routine; Quality Time - try out a guided meditation, take yourself out on a date and treat yo self, spend time reading, drawing, coloring, or self-reflecting; Acts of Service - decorate your at home office/bedroom/shelves, therapy, cleaning, delegating; Gift Giving - buy yourself some cute new undies/bras/PJs, invest in books/courses, etc., makeup, clothes, crafts.

4. Cut yourself some slack, you're doing the best you can

Quit beating yourself up and be patient with yourself... you're doing the best that you can! Expectations are placed on us every single day and we feel the weight of expectations by others in our lives as well as by our own selves. Reflect for a moment: Who expects the most from you? What are his/her expectations? How do these expectations make you feel? If the answer is that these expectations make you feel weighed down, guilty, angry, or not worthy, drop them. Visualize the expectations as rocks in your backpack. Take the backpack off, open it up, and go through the rocks, one by one, call them out by name - 'Getting straight A's', 'Be perfect for my mother', 'Say yes to helping everyone else at all times' - and take them out of your backpack. Now see yourself leaving the rocks in a pile in front of you. Fill your backpack up with things that make you feel happy and light, instead. Walk around and pick up with you find: flowers (which can represent making your own decisions and owning your power), fruit that you see on the trees (which can represent saying "no" to something that you really don't want). Fill yourself up with this self-love and remind yourself that you can unload and reload your backpack however you want, whenever you want.

5. Set boundaries for yourself

The more decisions you make for yourself, the more you will trust yourself, honor your time, and appreciate yourself. My mother controlled every decision for me as I was growing up: what to wear to school, what to eat and how to eat, who to hang out with... the list goes on. I didn't know how to set boundaries for myself, so I allowed her to run the show for me. She was the CEO, producer, script writer, and makeup artist. I felt helpless and powerless, and this went on until I was 25 years old. One day, April 23rd, 2016, to be exact, I told myself "I no longer care what my mother thinks of me. I'm done trying to be someone I'm not, I'm done trying to impress". And yes, this is a direct, word-for-word quote from my notes. Something shifted me that day... something woke me up. I went through all of the above exercises and learned more about myself and finally decided to take over the script. I fired the producer, found stronger lead actors to compliment my story, and made myself the star in the way I wanted her to shine. I set boundaries for myself and it set me free.

What are you waiting for? You have this power, too.

So go out there and live your most fulfilled life!